The Paradox known as Facebook

The last couple of years I've given up Facebook for Lent. (Last year I also gave up alcohol simultaneously, and I can't say that I will ever be strong enough to do it again).


I have to say, Facebook is one of my biggest vices, so it's always an obvious choice when Lent rolls around. Plus, I spend entirely way to much time on it while I'm at work and know that's a terrible habit to get myself into. Therefore, I've used Lent to detox myself from Facebook.

For whatever reason, I'm finding it much harder to keep myself away from it this year. It could be that I decided I would challenge myself more this year and not take the easy way out -- this year I did not remove the Facebook icon from my home screen on my cell phone. So I always have the instinct to pick up my phone when I'm bored and press the Facebook app. Thankfully, I haven't done that, although I've caught myself just in the nick of time on a couple of occasions.

I don't really know why this year is more difficult than last year (maybe it's because the giving up alcohol part was much harder in comparison last year), but it is.

But now that I've gone through the hardest stages of withdrawal, I find that I'm asking myself, "Is it really worth it to get back onto Facebook ever again?"

Lent only lasts for 40 days, after all. So what happens on that 41st day? Am I going to fall right back into that trap of setting Facebook as my internet homepage and spending every down moment of down time reading through my mini feed?

Ew.

I hope not. There's so many better ways to spend time.

Therefore, I bring up the Facebook Debate -- and I beg for your input (Yes, you. You made the mistake of telling me in person that you read my blog. Now own up to it and post a comment or two to get discussion going, eh?)

On my one shoulder, I have my miniature angel telling me to stay far, far away. That angel reminds me that I've actually become a happier person since taking my hiatus from facebook. Why? Because I've stopped comparing myself to a bunch of people I haven't seen in years.


"Oh! Sarah is engaged?! Ah, crap! I always thought I would get married first!"
"Emily is pregnant? I'm not even married yet! But Sarah is..."
"What?! Ben is working at Twitter? What if I'm stuck making $12 an hour for the rest of my life?"
"Annie bought 3 new pigs on FarmVille? I only bought two!!!"



Okay, so that last example was an exaggeration, as I would rather give up alcohol and Facebook for the next 1,000 Lents than play FarmVille.



But my point remains, you can't help but compare yourself to other people when you're on Facebook.



Think about it. The majority of your time on Facebook is probably spent looking at friends' photos, right? And what are you thinking about the whole time.



"Wow, Sarah looks fantastic in those engagement photos. I wish I looked that good."
"Holy crap, Emily looks ginormous. I hope I never look that bloated when I'm pregnant."



It's a vicious train of thinking that leads to self-doubt and low self-esteem. So now that I'm well into my Facebook detox, I've found that my life is much lighter when I don't have that heavy burden of comparing myself to each and every person who pops up on my computer screen.

So here I am, three weeks away from completing my Lent goal, thinking that I may just choose to walk away from Facebook for good...

But...

On my other shoulder is my miniature devil. That devil's trying to convince me that a blow to my self-confidence is worth it in the long run. How else am I going to stay in touch with friends from high school and college who moved away? How else am I going to get the latest breaking news even before it appears on CNN?

Social media is the future, right? That's the bandwagon that Mark Zuckerberg is driving. Jump on board or you'll get left behind.

I'll admit, that's the only thing that's keeping me from "deactivating" my account. I really don't want to lose touch with my friends that I only communicate with through Facebook. There's important collections I know I would lose if I decided to leave. And at the same time, I have to ask myself, if we are really that great of friends, couldn't we just email each other? Or wouldn't we make time to talk to each other on the phone?

Now, it's your turn. What do you think? What keeps you signing on to Facebook daily? Or if you've deactivated your account and then come crawling back, how come? Or if, by some act of God (hey, it's Lent, it could happen?), how did you walk away from Facebook?

Did you choose your mini angel or mini devil?